At the start of the year, I wanted to make my prayer & bible reading time more intentional, which meant setting a morning alarm & actually getting up with it. So far, I’m still going. Since having Azariah, I’ve been exhausted, so getting up early wasn’t routine. We haven’t been able to attend church in person due to needing to isolate.

Not being able to get to church physically really tests your faith. You need a strong faith foundation to keep going without being there. Your identity in Christ needs to be solid because you don’t realise how much church encourages you along the way. We still watch online every week, but it isn’t the same, so don’t take it for granted. I look forward to the day where we are with our church family in person every week.

Anyway, my new routine & intention have given me a renewed passion for the word of God and a desire to go deeper. I’m being reminded of what it means to be a follower of Christ, to be holy & set apart, to be called to live differently from how the world tells us, too.

When I started this journey 12 years ago (can you believe it’s been that long?!) I was on fire, it was so exciting and freeing to finally have purpose, hope, self-worth, confidence, and healing! Everything finally made sense. Along the journey, things have come that have tested me & I’m sure try to pull me off this path and make me believe that God isn’t good, but nope, I’m still here.

I’ve got a renewed fire & excitement. I know that through the trials, the pain, the grief that diamonds have been formed, and its time to take hold of them and Shine. Studying my bible again, really intentionally & not just grabbing a minute here & there has spurred me on. It’s life giving,  encouraging & edifying.

If you are a Christian who doesn’t make your bible study & prayer time intentional everyday I would encourage you to do so. If you are living carefree every day & don’t feel the Holy Spirit nudging you or helping you to discern things in your life, you need an infilling.

One of the things that blew my mind back in my early walk was that God is continuing to shape me into His image. That means that the only way is up, everyday as I seek Him and allow him to mould me & lead me, the parts of me that don’t reflect him will be chipped away, leaving the fruits of his spirit love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Those fruits of the spirit are accompanied by healing, forgiveness, purpose, wholeness & restoration.

The bible says in the book of ‭‭Luke chapter 7 verse 47

“Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.”

Luke 7:47

I have known deep darkness. I have experienced heavy pain. I’ve also done things that I needed forgiveness for. So maybe because I’ve been through all of that, then that’s why I experience God the way I do.

Without the darkness, I wouldn’t be able to really appreciate the light ✨️

Some people have been called out of that darkness, and some people were saved from ever having to experience that darkness. Whichever group you are from, I encourage you to go deeper, read more, and pray more. Not because that will make you a better person but because you get to know God more. You get to understand his will for your life on a deeper level.

He can’t work where you deny him access or where you justify your actions by wordly standards. Open your heart to him. Stop hiding behind what makes you feel comfortable or putting your own opinions, thoughts & feelings above what His word says.

Whatever your experience, understand what the bible tells us about being lukewarm, half-hearted about our faith in the book of Revelation chapter 3 verses 15 & 16.

“‘I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.

Revelation 3:15-16

Don’t be lukewarm. Imagine God said he will spit you out of his mouth and that it would be better for you to be cold than lukewarm!

I will never regret the day I came to know God, but I would regret the years with Him that have come after if I didn’t recognise the areas that I needed to change, allow him to truly change me and remain passionate about my relationship with God.

Amber x