Yesterday, my little boy, Azariah, brought the Amazon Alexa device to me. He always wants her to play 'Old McDonald had a farm'. But he had unplugged the device to bring it to me and proceeded to get frustrated and upset when she was not responding. A thought came to me. Sometimes, we can be... Continue Reading →
Little Man’s CT Scan Today
Today I had to hold my son very tightly while he had a little mask put on his face to put him to sleep under general anaesthetic. He needed to have a CT scan. This is to help the cardiologists prepare and plan for the next open heart surgery. The photo was taken in the... Continue Reading →
Christmas isn’t over!
I decided to put the Christmas decorations away today. The Christmas chocolates are almost all gone, and I needed to clear everything away to really get into gear for the new year. As I was carefully winding the lights around the piece of cardboard, I heard the postman dropping a few letters through the letterbox.... Continue Reading →
7 things we can do to improve our lives. Starting the new year the right way!
As we come to the end of another year, you may be thinking of ways you can improve your life. It might be in one area or an overall holistic approach. The bible is our guide to becoming who God created us to be and living an abundant life. Here are a few ideas to... Continue Reading →
Thank you to those who see us!
I wanted to say thank you to those who have supported us with the journey with Azariah & those who have covered us in prayer. Support has come from unexpected places, believe me! And sadly, it hasn't come from some expected places. I can't tell you how overwhelming and scary it is and has been.... Continue Reading →
Mr & Mrs Perfect – NOT!
Being married is honestly one of the best experiences ever! I see people bashing marriage or devaluing it but having had relationships before, they don't compare. The stability & security I've found in marriage is something not experienced before. It's more than "just a piece of paper". All men or all women are the same.... Continue Reading →
World Mental Health Day
I didn't know it was World Mental Health Day until this morning. This last week my Mental health has struggled, it's felt like a hard week. On Tuesday I started an online group 5 wk course for PTSD. On Friday it was 2 years since we lost Baby J to a miscarriage. The nanny has... Continue Reading →
I woke up today feeling super grateful!
Earlier this year, it was 10 years since I became a Christian. In a few months it will be 11 years since I first went to church as an adult. Notice how the two things didn't happen at the same time, simply going to church doesn't make you a Christian but that's a story for... Continue Reading →
Birthday Reflections p4 – Set Free
The final part of my birthday reflections blog series - My 30's. These have been different. I have spent the last 10 years becoming the person God created me to be. Living with hope, love and forgiveness. The forgiveness that I craved & needed, and for which I am truly grateful for. It is a life you can have too.
It’s a Good Friday to have a Birthday!
It's my birthday and I'm grateful! But today is Good Friday, so it's about so much more than just my birthday.
Birthday reflections p3 – Forgiveness
My 20's were probably my hardest season. I went through so much pain, much of which came from my own decisions. But it was also the season that led me into the new, into the light, into hope, into love.
Birthday Week Part 2 – Living those teenage years
As my birthday week progresses, I am reflecting on my teenage life. How hard it was being a teenage mum, and why I threw myself so hard into partying.
It’s my birthday week & I’m reflecting on life. The first 10 years, went something like this…
It's my birthday week, a time of reflection. Looking back over the last 40 plus years, I thought I would share a little bit of what those years looked like for me. Those years provided the foundation for much of what I have experienced, both good and bad. Here I share a little about the first 10 years.
Catching the dreaded “C” means I’ve had to isolate away from my baby
We've lived with this dreaded thing hanging over our lives for so long now and for so many of us, life is beginning to resume some normality. And for us it is in some ways but in others, our life isn't nomral anyway. My son, Azariah, is still a vulnerable baby while he waits for... Continue Reading →
Planning a holiday with CHD ain’t that simple
Are you planning a holiday for your family? We have been thinking about it but after advice from our Cardiac Liason Nurse, we realise taking an overseas holiday at this time just isn't that simple. Living with a Congenital Heart Defect really does mean there is a lot more to consider & some things may have to be sacrificed for now.
Heart Month: Diagnosis day – the day we became CHD parent’s
February is Heart Month, a time to raise awareness of all things heart. Our journey started the day we became CHD parent's, which was the day we got his diagnosis. My faith had been rocked after having a miscarriage and now it was being tested again.
Our Rainbow Baby had open heart surgery at 13 days old
We decided to try again pretty soon after we lost Baby J at 11 weeks pregnant. Pregnancy after a loss can be very difficult and we just couldn't relax or let go. We decided to wait until our 20 wk scan before we got our hopes up at being able to keep this baby. Our 20 week scan provided us with information that would tip our world upside down in ways we couldn't even imagine.
When I became a Christian, I honestly thought I wouldn’t be able to find true love
I had thought if I really wanted to get married that I was going to have to be with someone who just didn’t get me, and really put aside the things I was hoping & praying for in a guy. I'm not talking about simple compromise, or trying to tick those 'boxes' , but genuinely not finding someone who I was passionately and madly in love with, that I couldn't wait to spend the rest of my life with.
Saying Goodbye During A Pandemic
Last week, Marvin and I stood outside the local crematorium waiting for the service to start. Due to COVID, only the two of us could attend. How do you journey through grief when people are self isolating & socially distancing, cut off from your usual network of support?
The Process of a Pebble
Have you ever thought about how a pebble is formed? What it goes through to get it's shape? Or where it has been? I found the process of this similar to how God shapes us. Can you relate to any of thes different types of pebbles mentioned or uses of pebbles?
Grief. Can’t go over it, under it or around it. Have to go through it.
It’s been a month since we lost our baby and I have realised a few things about grief and the effect it has had on us. If you have dealt with grief, pain or trauma then you may be able to relate. I don't claim to be an expert or even be able to articulate... Continue Reading →
This week is our 1 year anniversary, but we are dealing with a heartbeaking loss.
Thursday was our ONE YEAR wedding anniversary and what a year its been, thrown together in this pandemic in a way we didn't expect but we have survived. This week we thought we would be sharing pregnancy news with you because our scan was due this week but unfortunately 2 wks ago, at 11 wks pregnant, we suffered a miscarriage.
Facing the uphill struggles in life
As a runner, I find the uphill parts challenging! Can you relate? This can be a metaphor for life, those uphill struggles can be difficult! So how do we face them?
Walking into the New Year, knowing I need Jesus now more than ever before!
I am forever grateful for the blessings in my life and the way I can see God moving. But this does not mean that I don’t still have challenges, I do. Before I knew Jesus, I made a complete mess of my life through decisions I made or did not make, through the way I viewed myself, through the value I placed on myself or rather the lack of value. So as I walk into this New Year, I am grateful but more aware of my need for Jesus.
Why I can never be lukewarm about Jesus
Some think I'm radical in my faith, but how can you not be passionate about the person that saved your life? How can you not give your all to the person who sacrificed their own life for yours? I will never be lukewarm, I will never be chilled out or laid back about Jesus & what he's done for me! Because I decided to follow him & I'm not turning back.
Why I don’t think this wedding is the best idea after all….
I have been told that we are meant to enjoy this time but to be honest with you, its not been that enjoyable. I don’t think one person has started a conversation by asking us how we are coping with engagement or preparing to be married but the question has been “How are wedding plans going?”
Gucci blackface jumper, Prada monkey keyring, Liam Neeson – are we over-reacting or is the outrage valid?
What do you think about things like Gucci's blackface jumper or Prada's keyring? Is the outrage justified? I believe there is a racial narrative that we have been fed since we were at school that we need to unlearn and re-educate ourselves about.
I’m a Christian, I never said I was perfect!
I'm a Christian. I'm not perfect. I'm a human being.
I'm a Christian because I've recognised my weakness, my failures, my flaws & the mess I've made of my life.
Will a change of year really make any difference to you? I chose wholeness as my aim for the year, read my reflections on how that worked out.
For the past few years I have tried to choose a word that I was going to aim to achieve in my life that year. This year’s word was Wholeness. I started the year with a desire to learn what that meant for my life.
Christmas, that time of year I am looking forward to but at the same time can’t wait for it to be over!
How are you getting on with your Christmas plans? Things at this time of the year just seem to turn very busy, don’t they? I can’t tell you how many Christmas events my daughter has at school, she is loving it, but I am finding it hard to keep up – what day is Christmas jumper day? What donation is needed today? Have I paid for that activity? It’s a lot!
So, the other day, I had to ask my boyfriend how to shave my face…….
Yes, you read that correctly. I actually did have to ask my boyfriend how to shave my face! You are probably thinking why?????? The reason is......
How Audible saved me from hours of wasted time!
I have been a book lover for years, I can’t even tell you how many books I have read – no I actually can’t because my memory is so bad! But I love reading. Being a single parent, working two jobs and just generally being on the go for most of the time, I don’t always have time to sit down and read like I used to. Reading at bedtime used to be the shout for me but more often than not I am too shattered to do that these days.
You Should Write a Book!
Has anyone ever said that you should write a book? Or have you said it yourself? So many people say they should write a book, but how many people actually get it done? I imagine not many. It just becomes one of those things we say. It's something I've said or people have said to... Continue Reading →
On the outside looking in
You know the movie scene. It's a cold night. It's usually snowing, possibly Christmas. There's a lone person standing outside looking in through a window. They are looking at a family by the fire having fun and laughing. I've felt like this over the last two years, like I'm on the outside of it all... Continue Reading →
Hidden in Plain Sight!
My thoughts. The Grammys. Didn't watch it but I've seen clips & read articles. It looked like there was a lot of satanic stuff going down. Hidden in plain sight. Some ppl know what I'm talking about, others are not aware & others will think I'm crazy. This I know - there is a spiritual... Continue Reading →
Faith like a child
Happy New Year friends. I hope you had a lovely evening celebrating, or sleeping, whichever you chose. As we start this new year, with all the best intentions, it is so easy to get right back into the grind of life. Busy, busy, busy! But before that happens, I wanted to reflect on something. We... Continue Reading →