This week is our 1 year anniversary, but we are dealing with a heartbeaking loss.

Thursday was our ONE YEAR wedding anniversary and what a year its been, thrown together in this pandemic in a way we didn’t expect but we have survived. This week we thought we would be sharing pregnancy news with you because our scan was due this week but unfortunately 2 weeks ago, at 11 weeks pregnant, we suffered a miscarriage 💔 these past 2 weeks have been hard, & what looked like perfect timing is now heartbreaking timing.

I share this with you because this is real, me & Marvin are real, what you see is what you get & this is what we are going through. Not just the “Instagramable Life” I’ve had so many questions that may never be answered. 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, you just don’t think this one will be the 1. Because of the pain & the shock, at times it’s felt like everything I had hoped & dreamt fell at my feet & broke into pieces. But I stand on a firm foundation (God). Our hopes & dreams have been shaken up, but I’m slowly picking those pieces up & working them out again with God’s help. Do we dare to hope & dream again?

I can’t tell you the pain we’ve experienced, if you’ve been through it, then you know. But I definitely won’t sugar coat this, it’s been very hard & very painful. But I do know that God is good & we will continue to pursue the plan He has for our lives. Trusting God is not just a flippant saying or even an easy thing to do, especially in times like this but it’s something we will continue to do.

Since this has happened to us, we have spoken to so many friends who have gone through it. So I hope by sharing and talking about it, it may help someone else.

I’m so grateful for my husband, his support & strength has been more than I could ask for. I’m looking forward to living the rest of my life by his side, supporting him to be all that he was created to be. Despite what’s happened, I am excited for our future, because we have each other & I hope I can be all that I need to be as his wife.

Amber

x

#babylossawareness

#miscarraigeawareness

Why I don’t think this wedding is the best idea after all….

I’ve got to be honest with you, recently I have not enjoyed wedding planning and it’s made me question if it’s the right thing to do. You might have clicked to read this worrying that my engagement is over but don’t panic, it’s not!

When my fiancé asked me to marry him, he was asking me to make a commitment before God to spend the rest of my life with him. But the 5 months since he proposed to me has been dominated by wedding planning, rather than focusing on our relationship.

I have been told that we are meant to enjoy this time but to be honest with you, its not been that enjoyable. It’s been quite difficult, for us both. The planning has put a pressure on us as a couple that we didn’t expect.

As Christians, making this commitment to become one before the eyes of God, is THE most important part for us. Most of what makes up a wedding ceremony has become tradition over time, it’s not a requirement but it has come to be expected. I don’t think one person has started a conversation by asking us how we are coping with engagement or preparing to be married but the question has been “How are wedding plans going?”

I know people are excited and it’s a strange feeling for me because I have probably thought about my wedding day for years, even before I met my fiancé. But now it’s approaching the only thing that truly matters to me is becoming his wife. I would happily say my vows in our church on Sunday after our usual service and that would be enough!

So, its not that I don’t want this wedding, I do and I am excited but I don’t want this wedding to take over our relationship and make us forget what this is really about. Lets remember what’s important in this all – that this is the beginning of a new season for our relationship. The wedding day is one step towards that new season, a season where we are going to need your prayers and your support. And remember, there is more to us than wedding plans so please feel free to talk to us about other stuff too 😊

Love

Amber

xx