If you follow me on my social media platforms you may have seen a recent post where I spoke about how hard things were at the moment, mentally and emotionally.

Most days, I wake up, and by the time I’ve got to the end of my bed, boom, I feel like I’ve hit a brick wall and could easily get back into bed. Of course, I can’t do this as I have children and a job!

Each day that passes is a day closer to receiving a date for my son’s open heart surgery. Every call, text, or letter that arrives, I think this could be it. A friend of ours received one weeks notice for their daughters open heart surgery, which, praise God, was a success. We are keeping her recovery in prayer.

But it hits home that that’s the notice we could receive, one week before our life is turned upside down and we have to rejig everything!

A couple of weeks ago, I began experiencing chest pain that would come and go. Then my neck started to really hurt, again coming and going. I also found myself randomly sweating. After googling my symptoms, as you do, I began to worry that they were early signs of a heart attack. The fact that I had found out I have high cholesterol a few weeks before this heightened my concern so I thought it was better to get checked out rather than continuing to worry.

Four hours later, after a Saturday evening in A&E, I was free to go home. The ECG, bloods, and chest x-ray all came back clear, and I was advised that it was most likely stress due to my situation.

Adding to my stress is that we have a number of family members who will be on the other side of the world come next week with holidays and plans they have made. Our lives feel like they are on hold, and it’s so hard to expect others to do the same! But it’s beginning to feel a bit like Job in the bible, everything being stripped back until all we have to rely on is God. Teaching us to lean in more and know that He is all we need.

I felt an overwhelming urge the other night to find a worship set on YouTube and just praise God. Let loose, dance like no one is watching! I really miss being in church and being able to do this. Being so close to surgery, we don’t want to expose Azariah to any colds or bugs, so we watch church online. But I miss it so much!

Anyway, I put on a worship set, and one of the singers was Travis Greene. He sang a song that I don’t think has been released yet as I can’t find it anywhere, but it affirmed to me the truth I had been feeling.

I feel like things keep coming against us, just like they did with Job in the bible. The devil wanted Job to curse God for all that was happening to him, maybe that’s what he’s expecting of me! But it won’t happen.

The song lyrics are:

The enemy may take some things
But he can’t take my worship!
Can’t take my worship!

Lungs breathe
Mouth sing
Hands reach
This is my way to victory!

And that’s the truth. He can’t take my worship! It’s my way to victory.

I want to encourage you that whatever you are going through, don’t let it rob you of that joy and that praise. The bible tells us that the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but Jesus comes to give us life in abundance. That’s one of my promise scriptures that I hold on to. That abundant life. With Jesus.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

John 10:10

Let’s keep pressing on to become all that God created us to be x